There's been a little bit of drama brewing out in DC lately, and for good reason: prisoners' ability to order pizza, drugs, and hits from the comfort of their cells is at risk. After ordering an in-prison signal blocking demo using equipment provided by infrastructure firm CellAntenna, the Washington DC Department of Corrections promptly earned the wrath of the CTIA which took its complaint to the FCC, arguing that such a demo violates the law. The FCC twiddled its thumbs (as federal agencies tend to do), so the association went to court where it sued to block CellAntenna from doing its thing. Before it had a chance to respond, though, the jail canceled its demo -- problem solved. The CTIA agrees that prisoners aren't the type of folks you want toting phones, but suggests that blocking signals from prisons altogether isn't the right way to solve the problem; if we were a guard, we'd probably agree.

Maryland has switched to canine power to sniff out illegal cells in its penal system since the "ask nicely" policy just isn't working out for them. The pooches have their work cut out for them if they hope to stem the flow of the estimated 800 sets that get into prisons yearly. The worry isn't that a small black market accessory market will spring up, but rather that the people behind bars can carry on the business that landed them in prison in the first place. Cell phones apparently get behind bars by being smuggled in boxes, food, shoes, and any other place imaginable and currently fetch about $400 for the privilege of ownership. The state currently has three pooches on the payroll, a Belgian Malinois, a German shepherd mix, and were trained up in as little as six weeks. With only a couple months behind their collars, the pups have already bagged some two-dozen phones. Not a bad bit of work, we're hoping they're available for rent in the coming months, we've lost countless sets around here and would love to get 'am all back.

The next time you get popped for a crime you didn't commit and end up in the Big House, you're going to be real glad NCIC Inmate Telephone Services rolled into existence. The greatest dream of felons everywhere has finally come to fruition: you can now make collect calls to cellphones while you're serving your time. And hey, this isn't just some minor advance -- no, this is "lightning in a bottle," arguably on par with the first moon landing, finding a cure for cancer, or hitting that crazy high note at the end of "Happiness Is a Warm Gun." With a 20 percent call-completion rate, you don't have to defer your dreams -- rob a bank today, you'll definitely be able to make pricey collect calls to loved ones from jail!

[Image courtesy Celebrity Blackberry Sightings]

We already knew that UK motorists caught driving while texting (or vice-versa) could face a penalty of two whole years in the slammer, but now it seems that merely talking while controlling a motor vehicle could land you in the exact same predicament. Reportedly, British drivers caught chatting on a handset or sending an SMS while on the road "could be jailed" under new guidelines that are expected to be published. In the most extreme cases, they could be tagged with "dangerous driving, which carries a two-year maximum sentence and an unlimited fine." Currently, these folks simply get slapped with an "automatic fine and three points on their license under the lesser charge of careless driving." But honestly, it's not like prison would be so bad for cellphone addicts -- after all, we hear some cells over there actually provide service.

[Image courtesy of MotorTrend]

It seems three Irish inmates are getting their hands slapped by way of a one-month sentence for unlawful use of a cellphone while in prison. The new law, passed on May 1st this year, makes it illegal for inmates to possess or use a cellphone while in the slammer. Apparently six other men have been nabbed but their cases have been pushed back a few weeks -- and seriously, what's another month in the grand scheme of things? While we understand the need to keep tabs on the criminals, we also understand the need to be able to let your fingers do the walking for late night snacks and, of course, late night missives of love.

[Via textually.org]

A 21-year-old Aussie is looking at up to five years behind bars after being charged with "uploading a pirated copy of The Simpsons Movie on the internet." Interestingly enough, his weapon of choice was not an uber-small camcorder, rather, he chose to record the entire film with his mobile phone on its first day in cinemas. Merely hours after returning home, the footage was already making the rounds on the 'net, but he has since been arrested after having his home raided by Federal Police. Adrianne Pecotic, executive director of the Australian Federation Against Copyright Theft, was quoted as saying that mobile phones had "advanced to the point where users could do a lot of damage" with its built-in video recording abilities, and also noted that pirates were "increasingly ditching handycams for smaller mobile phones."

[Thanks, Geoff]

It's no big secret that some clever inmates find a way to get a mobile phone whilst imprisoned, but rather than phoning for a getaway van, drugs, or a spare battery, the individuals at Hewell Grange apparently enjoy the finer things in life. According to a report from an ex-inmate, he witnessed a number of citizens placing "massive" orders for food, and thanks to equally cunning takeaway drivers, the prison claims to have "no record" of any disallowed exchanges taking place. Granted, the prison is one that affords certain freedoms to the well behaved inmates just before they are released back into the community, but to be frank, it sounds like some of the residents may be better off just hanging around.

[Via Textually]

Although cellphone tower location registering has been used in courtrooms for some time, we just knew that the GPS capability and morewould be put forth for use in cases where even better location granularity is required. Well, what do ya know: it's here. For alleged murderer Darryl Littlejohn, he knows it all to well. While movement from tower to tower is not exactly a new strategy for attorneys to use when arguing cases, it's use as an alibi can go either way. Critics say that rush-hour wireless traffic can shunt signals to towers that cause accurate tracking to be obfuscated somewhat, while others say criminals can plant their handsets away from crime locations for later use as an alibi. Yeah, we love when lawyers begin grasping the technical ins and outs of wireless towers and advanced tracking methodologies.

It goes without saying that talking whilst driving (let alone texting) isn't exactly the safest practice, and unfortunately for a British teenager, she could have four solid years to think about it. Rachel Begg, who was found to have used her cellphone nine different times in the 15 minutes prior to crashing into a grandmother's vehicle and subsequently killing her, was recently found guilty and sentenced to four years in prison. To make matters worse, Begg was driving nearly 70 miles-per-hour on a dark, rainy night, and the judge reportedly emphasized how costly her lack of reason was. Better leave the texting 'til after the ride's over, eh?

[Via Textually, image courtesy of BrockportStylus]

We've seen cellphones turn into brutal weaponry more than a few times in our day, but in the latest unsolved mystery of a handset ending up in a potentially unfaithful SO's throat, it looks like justice is about to be served. Although it was previously assumed that a scandalous girlfriend attempted to swallow her mobile in order to prevent a suspicious boyfriend from finding out who was in her contact book, it now sounds like the enraged male in the situation could've forced it down there. In an admittedly awkward twist, a "jury convicted Marlon Gill of second-degree domestic assault" as they blamed him for putting her phone where her mouth is. Notably, jurors couldn't come to an agreement on an appropriate sentence, which means the decision will be left up to the judge, and personally, we feel the punishment should be much more severe if the mobile in question were of the smartphone (read: jumbo) variety.

[Thanks, Lunar Dog]

Any Brits reading this will probably already be aware of the occasionally questionable exploits of the "red top" tabloids, but for those that prefer not to take their tea with crumpets, the news that Clive Goodman, a journalist for the UK Sunday tabloid the News of the World, was found guilty and sentenced to four months jail time for intercepting over 600 phone messages left for three senior officials in the royal household will probably come as a mild shock. To British readers, the fact that a tabloid hack was willing to go to such lengths in order to provide such thrilling exclusives as the "news" that Prince William casually asked an ITV reporter to borrow a video editing suite won't be a surprise at all. Perhaps the most depressing fact in this case is the complete incompetence of the assailants: Mr. Goodman and Glenn Mulcaire -- the freelance investigator who was sentenced to six months prison time for his role in this plot, and for independently tapping several other notable figure's phones -- illegally and recklessly accessed voicemails before the rightful owners had retrieved them. If there's any good to come out of this case, it'll be a tightening of the security at the network operators that provided the royal official's mobile phones: apparently Mulcaire somehow managed to obtain the passwords "issued by the mobile phone companies to their own security staff. This allowed him, having obtained the mobile phone numbers of his targets, to call customer services and to obtain the voicemail retrieval numbers." We don't know whether to be flattered by the fact that royal staff slum it with the rest of us by using the same mobile phone networks that us "commoners" do, or to freak out at the lax security exercise by the unnamed network operators.

[Via Boing Boing]

Alright, so we're taking this one at face value, but according to an admittedly weird report in Asia, Guangzhou residents should be on the lookout for a clever pup who looks mighty innocent, but is reportedly a "hardened criminal." After locating the dog in a Panyu District home, the owner was surprised to see the mysterious creature cease playing with his daughter, dart over to his cellphone, and make a break for the exit. According to local police, it's becoming somewhat common to see "thieves training canines" to sneak into homes and swipe cellphones for crooks to resell. While it would certainly be easy to brush this off as completely ludicrous, the idea actually isn't that far-fetched, as an English Springer Spaniel is already on patrol in UK prisons sniffing out and retrieving mobiles that were brought into the jails without consent. So if you're strolling through Guangzhou, make sure that cellie is well covered, cool?

[Via Textually]

Ten years in prison doesn't sound too bad when you have such conveniences as satellite TV and DVD players. Now, Lowdham Grange prison in Nottingham, England is adding one more fringe benefit to their roster, the cellphone. Cellphones will most likely be installed in inmate quarters with the hopes of reducing the rate that criminals re-offend and return back to prison. Now there's no need to worry how the prisoners are smuggling their own home chargers in, ok?

[Via Textually.org]

Sure, you've got options when it comes to keeping track of your meandering canine, but Mel Barker of the Norwich prison is turning the tables on who gets called master. Aside from the ridiculous amount of gadget theft (and subsequent injuries) already occurring in the UK, the smuggling of cellphones behind closed bars is apparently quite an epidemic. With transport vehicles ranging from hollowed out cheese wheels to underhanded cops, Barker resorted to training a 15-month old English Springer Spaniel (Murphy) to hunt down illicit mobiles before the wrong (or right, depending on perspective) people received an unexpected call. The pup has his work cut out for him, however, as over 60 phones have been confiscated from prisoners during the past year, and the demand is presumably still on the rise -- but considering his uncanny ability to detect "scents unique to mobile phones," we're sure Murphy will have it all sniffed out real soon.

[Via Textually]