Sitting pretty as the number three cell maker in the world would make many of the bigger names happy -- not to mention the usurped Sony Ericsson and Motorola a bit green -- but not LG, as it's now gunning for spot number two. In an interview with Yonhap, LG's president of its mobile business, Ahn Seung-kwon, stated that the company hoped to bump Samsung to the wayside by 2012 with the help of a serious new set and a premium brand. While the gaudiness of really expensive handsets disturbs us at times, we'll admit that mention that LG's looking at a foray into the über high end of the spectrum -- with the likes of Nokia's Vertu -- piques our curiosity a good deal. And what about that serious new set we mentioned? Apparently in Q4 of this year, LG will launch a new Black Label-branded device to compete directly with iPhone, which when coupled with dreams of more success from yet another Prada device (and if we're super fortunate, some more Transformers-branded stuff) is part of the master scheme to start down the path. Will they crack it? Well, if we were betting types, we'd lean towards not likely as long as the Samsung juggernaut's standing in the way -- but we're all for watching them try.

Here's a fact: the world really doesn't need another mildly tweaked Aura. Sorry, it just doesn't. That being true and all, we're still pretty jazzed to see Motorola giving the ultra-luxurious handset another go with the moon-themed Celestial Edition. Word on the street has it that this here handset won't deviate much from the predecessor, but it will come pre-loaded with multimedia from the original moon landing mission, a laser etched quote honoring the 40th anniversary of the journey and a price tag that's far, far beyond stratospheric. We're told that it's all set to go on sale next month, but good luck finding one.

[Via phoneArena]

Stainless steel's great, but there's a very simple problem with the alloy that's plagued mankind for hundreds of years: it doesn't have any pattern on it. Happily, that's easily solved with a quick trip to Vertu's British headquarters, where master craftsmen are hard at work hand-carving designs into exactly 100 copies of the company's new Ascent Ti Damascus Steel -- just the latest in a long line of five-figure handsets with two-figure functionality. Yes, true, the Ascent Ti series features 3G, but even that isn't enough to justify the kidneys and other organs you'll have to sell (or the pittance you'll have to withdraw from the trust fund, depending on your lifestyle) to become the proud owner of one of these. Is it seriously time to upgrade the Ferrari version already?

In the automotive world, coachbuilding is the age-old business -- recently making a resurgence among the extraordinarily wealthy, interestingly -- of taking established, off-the-shelf production models and turning them into totally customized, bespoke works of art. Commissioning a coachbuilt car is one of the most excessive displays of materialism known to modern man, but at the end of the process, at least you've got a functional keepsake and an heirloom that can be kept in the family for generations. Cellphones, though -- let's just say they don't have the same staying power that an exotic car has, which makes luxury manufacturer Mobadio's new Grand 350PRL a tough sell. The previously-rumored phone represents the first model in the company's new Grand Line, which introduces a new industrial design distinct from its other two lines, but let's concentrate on what's really going on here: it's a dressed-up E71. Mobiado has taken a great (and great-looking) smartphone that can be easily had for under $300 and applied enough sapphire, stainless steel, and mother-of-pearl to raise the sticker well into "if you have to ask" territory. Sure, if that's your thing and you've already put a couple coachbuilt Ferraris in the garage, be our guest -- but don't come running to us when you realize that the E71 has a better keyboard anyway for a trivial fraction of the price.

[Via Unwired View]

Mobiado doesn't make the cheapest phones in the world; quite the contrary, actually, with models that run into the tens of thousands of dollars depending on metals, jewels, and your salesperson's insultingly high margin. MobileBurn has obtained shots of what could be a member of the company's new "Grand Line," a QWERTY set -- which would be the company's first -- with mother-of-pearl inlay properly conveying just how much better you and your phone are than those around you. No word on pricing, availability, operating system, or just how real this is, but if you're properly endowed, we're sure you'll be in touch with the proper folks to get on the waiting list.

Update: A close look at the the keyboard, chin, and microphone placement suggests that the device could be a reskinned E71 -- which would make sense, seeing how Mobiado's probably too small to be crafting its own QWERTY smartphone guts. Thanks, Craig!

You know how we know this here TAG Heuer Meridiist isn't the real deal? Not because it isn't sexy, and not because we don't really, really want to believe. No -- it's because the authentic handset can't be found for under five or six grand, while this little impostor can be had for the unfathomably low price of just $290. So yeah, you'll miss out on the fancy box and veritable bragging rights, but you will get twin SIM slots and a choice of black or red "leather." You know, come to think of it, maybe we would be willing to deal with a fake in order to save a few mortgage payments...

[Via Tehnozona]

Some luxury phones manage to pull off their lot in life with a sense of understated elegance; on the opposite end of the spectrum, there's this. The GoldVish Revolution looks every bit as gaudy as its predecessors, but throws in a mechanical watch for good measure -- something that's become strangely popular in this market segment lately. All told, you're looking at some 29 carats of diamonds and a whole bunch of 18k gold, but act fast: only 9 are being made, and something tells us there are more than nine weirdos in the world willing to pay the €369,000 (about $485,500) being asked.

[Via Phone Arena]

Most of us aren't itching to pay over five grand for the privilege of putting TAG Heuer's first cellphone in our pockets -- or, rather, we simply don't have five grand to blow on such a lustworthy extravagance -- but the small handful of you still sitting there, tapping your fingers on the table with credit card outstretched are probably wondering where the hell you buy this thing. Turns out the Meridiist isn't really "on sale" yet, per se, but at least the company has finally done us the favor of whipping up a site where we can all ogle the luxury candybar at our leisure -- and, more importantly, place a pre-order. The timing of the site is no coincidence; watch show Baselworld starts this week, and the company (along with manufacturer partner Modelabs) wanted to be ready with some new action. It's not as cool as, say... a launch, but we suppose it's better than nothing.

Update: It seems some retailers (even in the States) are stocking these, so we're not sure why TAG Heuer hasn't bothered to let site visitors know that their "pre-order" is more of an "actual order." Thanks, everyone!

We already knew Vertu was planning to open wide to Tokyo's Ginza district in late February, and apparently it decided to follow through despite an economy that's apt to slow sales of its luxury handsets dramatically. At any rate, the spot is a must-see even for tourists with a savings account that couldn't buy the "8" key of a Constellation Pure, so be sure to freshen up and drop by if you find yourself in the city. Oh, and be sure to ask the reps on hand if any of Vertu's phones can load up the full version of the company's own website without struggling -- we get the feeling the reaction will be priceless.

[Via RCRWireless]

It's not the first Swiss watchmaker to decide to get into the phone game, but Ulysse Nardin's upcoming Chairman could very well take both the "most like a watch" and "most insanely badass" crowns when it's officially unveiled at Baselworld later this month. Billed as a "hybrid smart phone," the handset -- which, we assure you, you can't afford -- will incorporate a visible, fully-functional kinetic rotor that will apparently assist in providing power, just like you might find in a mechanical wristwatch. Beyond that, we know that it'll be unlocked, will be limited to just 1,846 pieces, and that Vertu should be feeling the heat right about now. Look for full details around March 26 when Baselworld kicks off, so in the meantime, get to work selling your car, your home, your children, and your soul, but not necessarily in that order. Depends on how deeply you love your car.

[Via Hodinkee and Timezone]

"Clocks in a phone." It sounds like the name of an unfinished Kubrick joint, the punchline to a really bad joke, or the incoherent rambling of a luddite trying to make sense of cellular technology -- but unfortunately, it's none of these. Instead it's just Mobiado's 105GMT all over again, this time in white. This monstrosity sits squarely at the intersection of "hideous" and "trust fund," which is a territory we're sorry to say we'll never have the pleasure of experiencing ourselves -- but to those who need a gaudier way to run a billion-dollar Ponzi scheme on the road, your weapon of choice has clearly arrived.

[Via Unwired View]

We won't lie -- we've always been harsh on Vertu handsets. As a rule, they're technologically inferior to handsets that are a twelfth the price, and honestly, they're usually pretty unsightly. But you know, Boy Genius Report's hands-on experience with the stainless steel Signature S Design really has us back on the fence. Sure, it's the price of a decent subcompact, but man, it's as sleek as sleek could ever hope to be. Have a look in the read link for a hands-on gallery that's sure to make you envious -- whether you're willing to admit it or not.