Ok, so we're fully aware of how potentially dangerous cellphones are to the longevity of our brain, and we understand the risk of generating ear tumors if we yap too long, but a new study by the American Society for Reproductive Medicine might have findings that elicit more than just a passing scoff. Researchers analyzing British males have linked "electromagnetic radiation emitted by handsets and / or the heat they generate" to actually lowering sperm count by "up to 25 percent." The study was based around four areas of potency -- "count, motility, viability / morphology, or appearance" -- and it was suggested that users of mobile phones produced "significant differences" from those who refrained from talking on the oh-so-treacherous handset. Even light talkers weren't off the hook, as the study found that occasional communicators seem to suffer from drops in sperm quality, while the big talkers who blew through four hours per day or more on their trusty cellphone had "results" described as "worst" and "poorest." Nevertheless, some doctors are indeed skeptical of unseen variables that must be considered when viewing the talkative crowd, such as the "amount of time they spend in cars, the amount of stress in their life, and the quality of food" they ingest -- so maybe you can just nix McDonald's, still maximize those M2M minutes, and not completely eliminate your hopes of fathering a child someday.